Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What better time than the present to acknowledge all that I have to be thankful for. I sigh writing as I feel a piece of me still deeply misses her mom (and likely always will). She’s the one who I felt most connected to. The one I WAS physically connected to for 9 months. The one who brought me into the world and I was lucky to have for 41 years. She gave me the gift of life. She helped give me the gift of becoming a mother. It’s my first big holiday without her. Nearly 3 months have passed and time is gradually having a way of helping heal. My neighbor shared this quote with me and it rings so true –
“Grief never ends….but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…It is the Price of Love.”
I sense a lot of love in the air. Growing stronger and stronger. At this time of year I can’t help but reflect on so much I have to be grateful for.
My daughter. Each night I get the privilege of putting our girl to bed, I am reminded of the miracle of life. At 14 months old now, she is everything and more than I wished for. As I rocked her to bed tonight, our fingers laced together for what I believe is the very first time. Her sweet, tiny hand was locked with mine and it just solidified the bond I have with her and always will.
My husband. I’m grateful to him and the wild ride of ups and downs for the past 6 ½ years. He is an incredible provider and one amazing daddy. Tonight I watched time stand still seeing him sit at the small “kid” table with our girl- his eyes light up around her and it is most heartwarming thing to witness them play together. He puts me in my place when needed and pushes me to carry on…what my mom would like to see in me too.
My friends. True friends of mine know they are more like sisters to me. Being an only child, I look at friendships as an essential part of the puzzle of life. Lately I’ve had some visits and encounters with friends who have helped restore some of my “broken-ness.” They’ve helped bring me back to myself. Whether it’s feeling the magic all around while making mala necklaces together, diving into deep talk about who we are at our core, sharing stories where both of us have lost a parent approximately a month apart or the fun in seeing where an unplanned night on the town can lead— it’s all of this. The rich, complexity of friendship for which I am thankful.
I’m grateful for the beauty I find in nature every day. I notice heart shaped rocks a lot more. I notice colors in the sky more. I look for signs that speak to me every day, guiding me and helping show me I’m on the right track. Just the other day I saw 11:11 in the morning and then another 11:11 at night. My heart skipped a beat. I’m not kidding. I’m paying attention. I continue to practice what I preach and that is when you’re in alignment, things keep showing up, keeping working out and keep moving us in the direction we’re meant to go.
Living life on purpose. There is such gratitude in living a life of our choosing. I think all my life has been leading me to this point. As my personal and professional endeavors expand mentoring others in their IVF journeys, I feel immense awe and gratitude that I get to walk alongside others during a very difficult, personal time. I am using all my years of experience as a practitioner of creative intention, in manifestation and purpose driven living to help serve others. I definitely feel being an Occupational Therapist has been an asset and the most fitting profession for me. Thankfully I followed that call in my later teen years, and with the guidance of a few individuals was led to what OT was all about. Occupational Therapy– The integration of art and science. A mix of human development and psychology, physiology and arts and crafts. It’s all integrated into helping individuals lead their best, most fulfilled lives. We emphasize what is most meaningful to the client or patient and believe in the value of the therapeutic use of self. In OT it’s all about, “What matters to you?” I honestly cannot think of a more rewarding profession than the one I’ve been a part of for the last 18+ years.
Recently I came across a moving quote. It speaks of gratitude, the simple pleasures, and such a good reminder as we celebrate Thanksgiving.
“As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for which we should be particularly grateful. They are things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness — just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breath it; just warmth and shelter and home folks; just plain food that gives us strength; the bright sunshine on a cold day; and a cool breeze when the day is warm.”
(Laura Ingalls Wilder, Writings to Young Women from Laura Ingalls Wilder)
My mom would have so loved this quote; It’s exactly like something she would say. Thankful for these ongoing signs– I feel and know. There is so much to be thankful for.