A letter to the woman “in the waiting”

lisa pic - handsTo the woman in the waiting….

That state of uncertainty while going through fertility challenges.  A time when you aren’t quite sure which direction to take. You’re presented with options and you decide with utmost hope and confidence you’ve chosen the right path.

You want something so bad and feel a bit of disappointment when you see how easy it is for others to get pregnant. You think to yourself, WHY?  And even statements like “This just doesn’t seem fair” come to mind. Maybe you waited to find the right partner. Maybe you waited to be more established in your career. Maybe you just couldn’t think of waiting any longer and are going about it without a partner. Whatever your reason, you’re here now. You have heard all the suggestions from everyone (who mean well), on what you can do to help get pregnant, but what you REALLY want them to know they just don’t truly understand. Those of us who’ve gone down this road get it.  We know it can feel lonely, isolating, and at times depressing. We can relate to the emotional, physical and financial strain it places in your life as well as your partner’s life.  There’s a lot of hoping, praying, wishing and a lot, A LOT of tears.  At times it feels like your life is consumed by the process. Various doctors, nurses, techs, phlebotomists, sonagraphers, office staff… It all can seem almost robotic walking into the clinic for your regular blood draws and internal ultrasound checks. Each stage is one where you’re in a state of wonderment- hopefully it’s the good kind of wonderment, but for many it’s the state of wondering, “Will it work this time? What if this doesn’t go right? What happens if x, y, z?”  There’s A LOT of unknown.

What you really want is someone to hold space for you. To vent. To cry. To punch (yes) … Truly a long hug and a compassionate ear mean the world. Less talking and more listening. That’s what we want.  Be Present.

Just BE with me.

Going through the process of infertility testing and IVF myself, I quickly realized the importance of mindset, self care, and the energy I brought to this experience.  It all mattered.  Creating a support network also became a priority.  The personal connections friends shared with me of others who had been through this journey were key, and I had no hesitation in reaching out to them.  My outlook going through the process of testing and extensive medical procedures was one of optimism, one of faith, and one of an inner knowing that I would become a mother in one way or another. I knew that the thoughts I was thinking would affect my reality. I knew that I had to take care of ME.  Doing whatever I needed to stay in an optimal state to weather any storm that came our way was imperative; Man, did we face a lot of storms.

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Looking back I think what’s unique in the approach I took to get through it all was recognizing how all the right supports appeared to me in just the right timing.  Being open was key.  I knew this secret.  It takes daily inner work and self awareness.  From the very beginning of this process I knew I had to be led by my heart.  There were many things out of my control, but there was much much I could control.  I had, what you may call, a “heart roadmap” guiding me through it all.

Where do you find this secret Heart map you may ask?  Well, that is where I come in.

I’m here to help you uncover what is there waiting for you and always HAS been there for you.  I want to help you discover your own Heart map.  Through personalized coaching we explore, we dig, we uncover, we build, we grow.

The coaching I provide is unique in that I utilize my 18+ years as an Occupational Therapist and lifelong practitioner of intentional, creative living to provide you with a holistic support like no other.  I believe in you, and I believe in the power of having someone like myself walk alongside you to help maximize your chances of manifesting your own miracle.  I want you to ultimately reach your personal goal of becoming a mother, but more importantly I want to you to not lose yourself on the way to get there.

I invite you to consider a personal coach to support you on your journey to motherhood. Infertility struggles are not meant to be gone through alone.  It takes a team.  A team of people who have been there, who care, and who have some valuable tools to support you.  I would love to bring more of the “magic” that may be missing from your team, and I invite you to reach out to set up an exploratory call to talk further.  Until then, keep going and know there is someone rooting in your corner for your dream of motherhood to come true.

All my love,

xo Lisa

Signs, spirit animals….It’s all part of the bigger unknown

A few days after my mom passed away I was in awe at the sight of a little friend perched on the umbrella I had just opened on our outdoor patio table.  My eyes and her eyes met.. it was the most amazing little grasshopper I had ever seen. It came as a surprise as I had not seen one all summer long and honestly cannot remember the last time I saw one.  We stared at each other for quite some time and I was moved by its presence. This little friend paid a visit to me and I know it was by no means an accident.

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Of course I had to look up what this grasshopper may have been trying to tell me. I searched grasshopper signs and spirit animals. Because the internet knows all.. (ha ha), I was touched to read that this friend did have a special message to give me — Grasshoppers don’t jump sideways or backwards. They only jump forwards. It could be telling you to move forward and not look back in life.  While writing this I must share I just got a huge rush of goosebumps. I believe this to be true. My mom was telling me to keep moving forward.  Grasshoppers also can signify taking a huge leap of faith.  How appropriately timed as I follow the call to provide IVF coaching and keep spreading my message.  These cute critters are apparently also known for being a symbol of good luck. “Yes please,” my heart beamed while reading this.

Other messages touched me too. I read that grasshoppers connect and understand sound vibrations. They can represent your inner voice.  Grasshoppers may be telling you to follow your inner voice- again my mom; this is exactly something she would say.

Trust your inner voice.

My mom passed away on August 27th, 2018. I found it so special and symbolic that this night also happened to be a full moon.  It was that evening that I was planning to attend a friend’s full moon gathering.  It sometimes astounds me when I think of the interconnectedness of it all. My mom’s last day, my daughter (who was 11 months old at the time) waving goodbye to her Grammy. Their connection was special. So special in fact I have a book that I had bought for my mom to give Olivia- it’s called “Grandma Wishes.”

3 days before my mom’s passing I had my mom read Olivia, her only granddaughter,  this special book. I recorded her and it’s one of my favorite keepsakes.  I had my mom inscribe it to her and I believe it’s the last thing my mom ever wrote;  “To Olivia, From  Grammy” with a heart drawn by it.

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Olivia often brings this book for me to read. It didn’t dawn on me until recently, but another pretty significant event had happened. This time it was the day after my grandmother’s funeral on January 9th, 2019.  I’ll let you know this entry is not meant to be one of “poor me” and all the loss I’ve recently experienced, but it’s one of significance in the joy it’s brought me through signs.

The day after putting my grandmother to rest, my aunt and I looked outside the back door and perched above us was a small but powerful, little owl.  My grandmother’s sign I knew.  (More goosebumps).  I had to look up the meaning and here is a bit what it said according to spiritanimal.info – “The owl spirit animal is emblematic of a deep connection with wisdom and intuitive knowledge. The owl offers for those who have it a personal totem the inspiration and guidance necessary to deeply explore the unknown and the magic of life.”  It goes on by saying, “The presence of the owl announces change. The traditional meaning of the owl spirit animal is the announcer of death, most likely symbolic like a life transition, change.”

Life Transitions – Change – The Magic of Life

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I have no doubt these 2 spirit animals appeared right in front of me for a reason.  I told my mom I’d still be talking to her long after her physical body would leave this earth. I asked her to give me signs, and she does. They truly appear ALL the time.

Now, this book I got my mom- from her, for Olivia – We continue to read it often, but recently it all hit me. The cover of the book shows a grandmother and her grandbaby… but these are not human figures.. they are OWLS.  I was very close with my grandmother.  Here she is represented along with my mother. Both were grandmothers. I was able to give my mom a granddaughter, I am my grandmother’s granddaughter, and Olivia is the only great-granddaughter to my grandmother. The circle of life.

They were the two most important women who influenced me more than other women in my life. They helped shape me into the person I am.

I had no idea when I found this sweet little book what a profound affect it would have in my life and my healing.  It’s through the tears I find comfort and strength. The tears are because of a deep love for my mom and my grandmother. Their spirits are strong.

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Olivia is so wise.. Like an owl. Like a grasshopper.

She definitely has pieces of them in her.  She knows what a special book this is and how much it will be treasured for years to come. I believe she’ll too come to love future visits from these signs just as her mommy does.  You just never know when one may be perched right behind your shoulder.

xo lisa

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Worldwide Reach – a dream coming true

I can’t help but hear the song “How far I’ll go” in my mind.  Thanks to Moana for this catchy song, but truly I feel so inspired!  Looking at the reach my website has done since yesterday and I am BLOWN AWAY-  France, Turkey, Indonesia, the UK, the U.S. Australia, China, & South Africa!  Time to get writing and no better time than the present.

It’s a bit scary putting yourself out there. I’m not gonna lie. BUT the risk is worth it when I think of those I can help serve.  They say there really are no failures in life… just lessons learned to get you closer to where you’re meant to be.  I’m looking at this new endeavor as one where I have the potential to help A LOT of people.  The number of women undergoing infertility treatments continues to grow every year.

IVF is no joke.  No one is really prepared for the amount of Dr. appointments you have, the number of medications, the shots you give yourself in both the abdomen and buttocks, blood draws, ultrasounds, constant monitoring, and Oh did I forget? —  all the fun side effects of the medications – (That’s for another blog), but truly it is a rollercoaster of emotions.  In addition to the “cray cray” there is lots of waiting, and waiting, and more waiting.

How ironic one of my nicknames I received nearly 20 years ago from a dear friend was “Turtle”… It’s all coming full circle now!  I’ve embraced the name lovingly and can’t help but think how appropriate that name was (and still is) for me.  Long and slow… patiently waiting for 2+ years as we went through IVF and various surgeries to prepare my body for our embaby…. Patiently waiting for the “right” time to put up a website.  Well, that turtle kicked into high gear and is going full speed ahead.

Thank you for joining me on this ride.

XO- lisa

What’s calling you?

If you are reading this, I want to first say THANK YOU and welcome!!

Have you felt that tapping on your shoulder to take action on something?  I felt that tap,  which turned into a nudge, which turned from a whisper into a loud “DO IT,” and I couldn’t wait any longer.  That call for me was to start that business, create that blog, and create that website.  Here it is– I’m SO excited.

My intention behind creating “IVF: Manifesting a Miracle” is to fulfill a calling I’ve felt to support other women going through IVF.  As someone who has gone through it I understand the emotional stressors and pain one often experiences going through this process.

Each woman’s path is individual however we all share one common desire….to become a MOTHER.

What I aspire to create is a community where others feel — SUPPORTED, INSPIRED, and EMPOWERED.

You do not need to go through infertilty challenges alone.  No more suffering in silence.

I’ve learned you have more control in this process than you realize.

There is SO MUCH ahead of you and this is just the beginning.

Stay HOPE-FULL.

Let me help guide you as your IVF mentor and share some of my personal strategies I used to help manifest our miracle.

I invite you to follow your own calling inside and join me in this journey of a lifetime.

XO- lisa