A mama’s reflections post IVF – turning 2



Picking up your child’s birthday cake….It might not seem significant, but it is, especially if you’ve walked the infertility path and longed to have a child.

These seemingly small events are not small by any means. They are EVERYTHING.

It struck me this past weekend as I walked into the cake store. I thought to myself,

“This is what I dreamed about.”

I dreamed of these days…. planning my child’s birthday party, gathering with friends and family, celebrating our little one growing. These days are here and I’ve been overcome with tears at times that my dreams have become my reality.

If you’re in the throes of IVF or on the TTC (trying to conceive) path you get this… it’s all these little things that we can’t wait to experience.  It’s difficult to express that it’s the mundane tasks that many wouldn’t thing much of that we desire.  When you’ve wanted a child so badly you just appreciate everything that much more.

The moment I got a glimpse of my daughter’s Elmo cake I melted inside thinking how much joy she would feel seeing it. It’s only been in the last month or so she has shown quite the affection for this lovable Sesame Street character. We’ve developed a cute game where she yells in excitement, “Elmos’ diaper!” when one of her favorites gets chosen from the stash.  Lucky for her, her mama can also do an Elmo voice impression which makes her smile ear to ear.

The little things.  This was the first birthday where I created little personalized party favor bags for the 8 kids in attendance. Oh, the joy!  As an Occupational Therapist I had fun selecting the items. (You bet I threw in some fine motor tools)!  Living in the moments that I had always wished for is truly sweet.

IVF sure knocked me around a bit, but it has become one of my superpowers.

If I can get through all of that, while at the same time facing the loss of my mom, I know I can get through most anything.

I believe birthdays are to be celebrated and think a 2 year old’s birthday is a pretty special one. It’s a bit crazy when I think about the statistics of kids who were at the party. Four of the nine kids (including my daughter) were born through reproductive assistance; That’s surprising and yet not so much a surprise in today’s age where 1 in 8 individuals are challenged with infertility.  Hopefully this topic is one that keeps getting talked about. Sharing my reflections in the hopes that at least 1 person gets a takeaway from this is my goal.

The little things are the biggest things especially after you’ve gone through hell and back with infertility. 

It’s these moments… seeing your daughter running on the playground with her friends, the red cake “Joker” mouths gobbling up some delicious cake, watching kids light up seeing bubbles and stickers, and seeing the pure joy on their faces while running through splash pad fountains…. It’s ALL OF IT.

There’s no greater honor as a mom to get to experience these kinds of moments. May this be a reminder –

Savor the little things. Celebrate milestones. Take lots of pictures. 

You only get to turn 2 years old once in your life. Savor these precious times and know that getting to pick up your little one’s cake is the icing on top.